Secure a Bae @mervmcq
In the wave of another trend, the “Do it for the D***” challenge has caught the attention of many, rappers and artists alike. Although humorous at times, with “cuffing season” quickly approaching, and the remnants of an extremely sultry summer lingering, I’d like to turn a cold shower on this challenge and, “Do it for the Love” instead; based on the book, the Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.
As the temperature drops, single individuals are dating at a higher rate, commonly known as “cuffing season.” During this time, many exhibit mating habits that will help secure a partner for the duration of the cold winter months, including but not limited to, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years celebrations.
Though it is nice to hear what a potential mate will provide for us, especially in the physical realm, I will also be giving some insight for maintaining these Autumn flings. After reading The Five Love Languages, I have developed a summary on each language and how they may add warmth to your winter blues.
1. Words of Affirmation – Speak Positively
– Go offline and write a traditional love note using pen and paper. It will be a nice gesture that makes an impact larger than a text message.
– In any relationship, there will eventually be critique and criticism, but be polite and make it constructive. Remember, “If you have nothing nice to say, keep it to yourself.”
– Additionally, what you say can be less important than how you say it.
2. Quality Time – Beyond the Netflix and Chill
– The amount you spend on the date does not necessarily equate to the quality of the date. Instead, try going for a walk, a picnic in the park, or a night out at a roller derby. The key to a great date is the thought and effort.
3. Receiving Gifts – Be “Present”
– Listen: according to research, the average individual listens for approx. seventeen seconds, before you interject, spend some time and develop those active listening skills, sometimes the greatest gift is a partner who listens well.
4. Acts of Service – Give a Helping Hand
– Give your time, a person whose love language is acts of service, will appreciate you taking control of tasks they can do for themselves but will ease the stress if you did it for them.
– Also keep in mind, it is better to ask, as it is pointless in doing something that only leads to inconvenience for either person.
5. Physical Touch – A Good Feeling
– Last but never least, get “handsy.” We all have our physical needs, get to know what work for your partner; what works for one person may not be what works for the other, be patient and considerate,
– Examples of intimate activities could be playing “footsies” during a dinner date or offering coupons for shared intimate moments.
Keep in mind that everyone speaks his or her own distinct love language. When getting to know someone, I suggest trying a mixture of the languages until you find both yours and the respective language of your mate. To close, I will quote Dr. Chapman, “Love is something you do for someone else, not something you do for yourself.” If you are interested in finding out your love language and that of your mate, visit www.5lovelanguages.com to take the personal profile quiz.